Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

My landlord just sold the house I’m renting from her. She included all fixtures, that I bought and installed. Does she have this right?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I refuse to date any women that are social media influencers, content creators, TikTok celebrities, and use Only fans. Would this be seen as normal, or would I be going too far? Why?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can count

Which current F1 drivers should switch teams based on historical patterns?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Does being poor build better character than being born rich?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why didn't my ex fight for our relationship? He gave up so easily.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why do Puerto Ricans come to this country flying their flags over in the United States all over their cars? They're so proud of their country. Why are they here?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What is a real life example of the Streisand Effect?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What are some alternatives to wearing a bra? Why do some women feel pressure to wear bras even though there may not be any benefits?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Which type of physical cable has fastest transmission speed?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

Do dogs feel love?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I see through liars

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can read

I understand how hurricane paths work

I actually pay taxes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter